Cigars and Jesus

When you think of Jesus, what kind of person do you envision? I grew up in conservative Christian churches, so whether He was carrying a lamb on His shoulders or knocking on somebody’s door in the wee hours of the morning, my Jesus always looked serene. He didn’t smile that often. If He loosened up enough to have a little fun, I believe He really would have been a great poker player, but that wasn’t likely. The perpetual glow on his face must have been from washing with holy water.

Quite frankly, when I was young I understood I needed Jesus in order to get my Heiny-Outta-Hell Card, but I never would’ve chosen to spend any time with him. We had nothing in common. Or so I thought.

Then someone told me something that started to change everything I ever thought I knew: Jesus wanted to be my friend!

Let's talk about friends for a moment. You know you have a genuine friend when he laughs at you, and you don’t mind. My friend Troy is like that. If you ever see me in Tim Horton’s wearing a green face, sipping on peppermint tea, and there’s a guy across the table from me who can’t stop laughing, that’ll be Troy. Let me tell you this little story.

It was a miserable, sleeting spring evening when it all went down. I don’t see Troy too often, so times when we get together we try to make into Macho Hallmark moments. This one happened to be just before my second daughter was born, so we went to The Smoke Shop to purchase a couple prenatal cigars. Now you have to understand- Troy makes everything he does into an art form. You look at him smoking a pipe or cigar, and wonder if the Mona Lisa wouldn’t look better taking a drag on a big Cuban. So I (being a naïve, conservative, Baptist deacon at the time) let him choose the stogies.

Twenty bucks a pop later we were puffing away on my back porch cowering against the house, trying to stay out of the wind and sleet, and generally feeling pretty good about life. The dizziness hit me when there was only about two inches left on my cigar, so I figured it would be no problem to finish the thing. (Note to potential smokers: the dizziness is not ‘the buzz’. The dizziness comes after the buzz, a few minutes before the nausea.)

From there I’m not sure of the timing of everything. I think I was sitting down to keep from falling over when Troy’s giggles started. By the time I had my head facing around the corner and over the railing of the house into the storm to get some fresh air, his belly must’ve been starting to ache from laughing!

I was done, but we weren’t. We still had to do our traditional Tim Horton’s coffee run. Troy was quite considerate and offered to drive. I mostly didn’t want to throw up in his car, so being a good friend I managed to hold it together until the parking lot. I’m glad it wasn’t crowded because it wasn’t too spectacular; just a big heave and a little dribble - pitifully ridiculous.

Ah, good times- sitting in Timmy’s, my pale green head down on the table with Troy talking about the kingdom of God. We’re so spiritual!

This little insight into my friendship with Troy has a point. What I haven’t told you about him is that he is a really busy guy. He has a great ministry with students in the city, and there’s always a fistful of people and events competing for his attention. Troy drove three hours that night to come visit me, because he knew I was at a low point emotionally and spiritually.

Jesus is like Troy. I didn’t need someone that night to tell me to get a grip. I didn’t need someone to tell me life could be worse, or even that it would get better. I needed someone who knew how easily I could make a fool out of myself and want to hang out with me on the back porch anyway. Maybe even someone who was secure enough in our friendship to laugh at me instead of simply tolerating me.

Jesus is like that. Jesus does not tolerate you. Jesus does not condemn you. “John 3:16, 17” I’m grateful that I can tell you that Jesus loves you, and not because He has to! He likes you.