Sometimes I think I’m all alone; that all the other bad people found a great hiding spot when the religious people were busy reading the Left Behind series. Then I come across people like you, and I’m just so relieved!
Please don’t be embarrassed. Don’t go away. People like you and I need to stick together. There are a lot of perfect people out there who want our souls but will settle for our heads. You’ve probably met your fair share along the way, haven’t you? We both know that we’re nothing but a couple of screw-ups. The last thing we need is for someone to come along and try to beat it into us with a consecrated wiffle bat.
It’s hard for me to admit how depraved I am, and that I’d just like to be clean again. I feel like a pig in a pen. If I tell another pig that we’re dirty, I’ll either get a shrug of the shoulders or a mud pie right in the kisser. The Christians are on the other side of the fence all squeaky clean and smiling. I’ve seen that smile before though; if I remember correctly, it was in the line at a local breakfast buffet before a pan of fresh bacon.Now it’s time for CHOOSE YOUR OWN BLOG ENDING! If you’re feeling fairly virtuous or have a sudden craving for ham, go to ending option 1. If you sense that your life or your soul is less than tidy, go to ending option 2).
ENDING OPTION 1
Why are you looking at me like that?
Perhaps I should have made you aware that I’m trying to write for people who need grace and forgiveness. Evil people like me. If you have made nasty faces at your computer screen then it may be that you are good, and perhaps you don’t belong here… yet.
I’m sorry I offended you, and I hope you leave a comment, go away, and come back again when you can relate.
ENDING OPTION 2
The fact remains that it would feel real good to wash some of this crud off. To think that some people pay money for this and call it a beauty treatment! Yuck.
Did you know that there is a story in the Bible just for you and me? It’s the one where Jesus died. He’s gets executed in a somewhat painful and humiliating way, but before he dies he forgives someone just like us who was hanging on a cross right beside him! Then after three days of being dead and buried he comes back to life to show us that He loves us, He’s in charge now, and we get to start over!
This is good news!
I should have known all along that water fresh from the source is the purest. Check out this music video:
