I’ve found it interesting to note how well books can sell when they bash God or religion. The same subject is a great conversation starter too. People who seem to not want anything to do with God are more than comfortable exploring all His faults. I’ve run into a bit of a dilemma though: the average response of a fairly religious person is expected to be somewhere between a defensive rant and a roll of the eyes, but I’ve found myself nodding my head or giving examples to back up the negative publicity. I suppose part of the problem is that I don’t like conflict. I am Canadian, after all. And being only basically educated (which some take to mean primarily uneducated), I’m not too good at thinking on my feet.
But what if a bigger problem is that many of the issues unbelievers face never go unanswered? Or perhaps they are tired of hearing that if they were only on the inside (where it is nothing but warm fuzzies and potlucks) they would see things so much clearer. Like a plate full of potato salad and lasagna with the last fried chicken drumstick soaked in melting Jell-O makes all the difference.
So here I am on my little soapbox ready to admit to the world that yes, religion may not be all we’ve made it out as. Now, I know the politically correct way to go about this would be to lump all religions, especially those that are monotheistic, and stick them all in a verbal piñata together. I’m afraid I can’t do that, because this blog largely reflects my own personal spiritual journey as a Christian.
Regardless of what I believe makes me a Christian, I believe most people would lump me in with them as well. Not only do I admire Jesus and want to be a disciple of his, but I also attend church, pray fairly regularly, and celebrate Christmas and Easter. I’ve even been to Bible School. I’ve gone to church forever- what most people would call a conservative Baptist church, I guess. I’m well acquainted with VBS, tithes, youth retreats, summer camp, flannel graphs, and Christmas programs. I know a lot of hymns by heart. For a long time I was what I thought every young Christian man should be. Regardless of some serious character flaws, a part of me wondered what took them so long to make me a deacon. I’ve been part of the prayer team, the music team, and the missions committee.
So why after voluntarily checking off so many things that identify me as a Christian, have I found the tag Christian, or Christianity, so problematic, so frustrating, so annoying? If someone asks me what I’m doing for the weekend part of my answer usually involves going to church, and then often I’m asked if I’m religious. Why does that make my cringe? I feel the beginnings of nausea at being labeled that way, yet feel guilty about saying no. Can I, as some people have, abandon the church and still be a Christian? I don’t feel comfortable with that either, because I know I’m no better than any other church-goers. Can I hold onto my faith while abandoning the Christian institution? Will I be alone? I don’t want to be alone. But I don’t want to be fake, either. I think I’d rather be an authentic heathen, than someone hiding in church each Sunday with a perm-a-grin and a book full of easy answers wondering if someone going to see it’s all an illusion. Is there another alternative?
(HINT: the answer is yes. See Losing My Religion Part 2.)
